Tuesday, November 20, 2012

False prophets

..........Out of curiosity and ofcourse pressure from my mother, I hopped on a bus to Oshogbo. I had to see this prophet everyone was talking about, he's a marital pastor "so to speak". Besides my mum was bothered I never brought a man home so she encouraged this visit.

The road was narrow and lonely, the sun burning my beautiful skin and ofcourse I had to go fasting so I was mad hungry. The structure stood by itself on a hill.....I entered the church premises, some young boy led me into the church and asked me to wait while he gets 'baba'.  Baba walked in holding a mat, candle and olive oil. He started to ask me questions: do I have a boyfriend, do I have sex, when was the last time i had sex? Then he started preaching of how bad it is to have premarital sex and the dangers surrounding it.....duh! everyone knows that, anyways I played along answering all questions so not to offend the "man of God".

It was time for the prayers, I knelt down on the mat and he started praying, skabashing......he later made me stand up and laid his hand on my head, then he started pushing me since the holy spirit supposedly did not make me fall into a trance or whatever he was expecting, he had to force it. It was a long struggle and i gave in. I was laughing within me. It was classic.

The session ended and he told me how to use the olive oil and candles, thank God there's no soap. He mentioned paying my tithe to him, I collected the account number and stuff but never went back. Wetin i dey find...abegi!!

My curiosity was satisfied.....it's a complete crappy thing I just did and journey to Oshogbo was just a waste of my time.


.........Her son left for school and never came back, 15 years have passed and no word. Is he dead or alive?.....the wait is painful but she is over it or so she thought until she jumped at the idea of an alfa visiting her home to help call her son home. It was meant to be a big return.....

Anything of his was required, a picture, cloth or anything he had used in the past....a picture surfaced. He prayed and asked the woman to pray as well for 15 days (number of years he's been gone for). She prayed fervently. He requested for white cloth, chicken and some money. She gave it all, anything to bring her son back.....this is 3 years after, her son has not surfaced.

Pain and frustration....an opening for false hope and prophets.


.........Everyone is doing well, they work in oil servicing companies or running their own business. They were travelling round the world with their families without hassle.

Her life is stagnant, she was dependent on her family for everything, she isn't getting any younger and she needs to stand alone at least, all the insult was enough, she's tired. She told a friend about it and proffered a solution....'visit my pastor, he'll help with any financial trouble you think you have, he has helped me in my time, i just had to fast and pray within the church for 7 days'. That seems easy enough...introduce me abeg!

She got her own private room somewhere around the church. The 1st 3 days was tiring because she had to fast (dry fasting), the other 4 will be white fast (no meal with pepper or oil).

By the 6th day, she was too tired to even pray, the pastor allowed her a break..."go to bed" he said. She didn't hear the door open neither could she fight off the huge man lying ontop of her, forcing his way into her pants....he covered her face while he raped her.

She didnt get pregnant nor tested positive but there was this rash on her "punani" that just refused to go away even after all the treatment.....she went to see this prophet with with one problem, came back with another.

Laziness......a sure window for the devils messenger!

Be careful and never relent in your prayers to the one true God.

Wednesday, November 7, 2012

The darkside

Sitted in a corner sipping my Martini..some dude walked up to me with the usual line "can i buy a pretty lady another drink".... why not i say. We drank, talked and we ended up in his place. It was fun. Nothing to it.

Beautiful afternoon, i was walking on the beach with my yellow 2 piece bikini, very wide hat and dark shades. It was a lovely afternoon for a stroll and i really wanted to be alone, just wanted to feel the breeze on my body and the sand through my toes...oh well, it was interupted by some kid who wandered away from his folks and was crying for help, he screamed so hard i could hardly hear myself breath,  spanked him so hard....Jeez, he's taking away my moment. 'buzz off lil' one" i yelled.... . I guess we'll be watching on the 7 o'clock news "missing child"...we have heard enough of those already. What do i care, keep your babies close!

In the office, meeting with some people from South Africa about a new development we were thinking about doing with the Lagos state government. The lady from accross the table seemed very pretty...red lips, tanned skin, round bossom, long fingers and she kept winking at me. Oh well, i always thought of swinging both ways and yes, i did that night. Her fingers really came in handy.....

Jet skiing....great sport, dangerous because i can't swim but who cares, we only live once, we all get to die somehow, someday. Anyways, i prefer to do this late in the evening and well i ran over some guys in a canoe. Thank God i didn't fall off or get injured but damn, they ruined my jet ski...they should have lights, They paid dearly, i didn't care how.

Cute dude she's dating. My kind of man. He travels alot and hey so do i. We hooked up, had fun and well he's not so great in the sack. Wonder what my friend sees in him. Not so fun while it lasted. I didnt regret it. Not like she's ever going to find out anyways.

In a class of 10, everyone spoke up about there intimate issues, what keeps them going and how they go about it. I sit on hot coal to ease tension (wierd aint it) To take away pain, i endure pain...thats how i see life. Deal with it.

This are confessions of a twisted Nigerian lady. Watch out for more......